Parents are often encouraged to get Facebook accounts and friend their kids, as a way to keep a tab on their kids online activities on the social networking hub. However, no one has told parents what to do next, or more specifically what not to do next, until parenting author Vicki Courtney stepped in.
Vicki Courtney has written extensively on raising girls and seeks to provide tweens, teens, and their parents with the tools necessary to navigate today’s promiscuous culture. But she also likes to lighten the mood by having a good laugh at parenting gaffes, including some of her own. Here is her list of the Top Ten Facebook No-Nos for Parents:
Do not post reminders on your child’s wall.
This includes, but is not limited to: Reminders to wear their retainer at night, take the recycle bin out to the curb, or to remember their upcoming dermatologist appointment. In fact, just to be safe don’t post anything on your child’s wall except for perhaps, birthday wishes. And even that’s debatable. A simple “Happy Birthday” will suffice. Do not use terms of endearment in the greeting and do not send a Facebook gift. This includes the stuffed bear wearing an“I love Mom” t-shirt.
Do not comment on pictures of your child that are posted (tagged) by their friends.
This includes, but is not limited to: Compliments about your daughter’s hair, gentle suggestions that your daughter may need to wear a bit more lip gloss, or a simple “Yikes” said in reference to one of your daughter’s friends showing a bit too much cleavage. (Guilty!) These types of comments should fall into the private message category. Never forget that comments on pictures can be viewed by everyone on your daughter’s friend list, including the girl who is showing a bit too much cleavage.
Do not post pictures of your child on his/her wall. This especially includes, but is not limited to: Scanned family photos from a decade ago or baby pictures of your son playing dress-up in his dad’s suit. Doing so could result in your son’s college roommate using the above-mentioned baby picture as his profile picture in a week-long mockery campaign. (See photo above. Sorry, Ryan.) Also, pictures of the beloved family pet are in the no-post category, but are acceptable if sent through private message. Just because your college son talks baby talk to the 4 lb. Yorkie when he’s home for a visit, doesn’t necessarily mean he wants a picture of the little love-muffin dressed in his Halloween Batman costume on his wall (Sorry again, Ryan.)
Do not upload footage of your child performing as a superstar in any sport or activity without first obtaining their permission. This includes footage of your son making a phenomenal one-handed catch during the homecoming football game that resulted in a run for a touchdown. We are all proud of our children, but excessive bragging (through videos, pictures, or status updates) should be doled out in moderation. Which reminds me, footage of Hayden’s amazing catch can be found by clicking on videos on my Facebook page. (NOTE: Hayden gave me the green light to post the clip in exchange for a $20 gift card to Sonic.)
Do not use status message updates as a billboard for your teen’s poor choices.
Unless that is, it’s funny and then it’s okay. The end goal should not be to publicly shame your teenager, but rather, to garner empathy from fellow parents of teens. Kinda like a big, giant Facebook support group for parents. “My teen just tested my last ounce of patience. Anyone know of any good boarding schools?” sounds much better than “My punk teen just shoplifted an energy drink from a convenience store. Pray he lives to see the sun come up tomorrow.”
Mushy Facebook status messages related to your spouse should be avoided at all costs. What child wouldn’t need intensive therapy after seeing Dad’s status message in the newsfeed: “My wife is a total hottie and I’m counting the days until our weekend get-away.” Ew, ew, ew. In fact, Dad’s entire friend list may need therapy after that one. Facebook PDA is unacceptable at any age, and even more so if you answer to the title “Mom” or “Dad.”
Never, ever, send a friend request to one of your child’s friends. It doesn’t matter if you were present at their birth, diapered their little bottoms, and count them as one of your very own. Wait for them to come to you. They may…or they may not. Even the good kids are worried about the lack of control they have over what others may say on their walls and don’t want the adults they know to think any less of them. Especially the ones they love.
Use discretion when uploading pictures of yourself. I don’t care if you are 50 years old and super proud of your six-pack abs – I promise you, your kids don’t want to see them. If you are going to play sand volleyball and there is a camera present, do the kiddos a favor and put a shirt on. If you are going to post pictures from the family beach trip, please wear a cover up. Modest is hottest. Yeah, and you might not ever want to repeat that cheesy slogan in the hearing of your kids or they’re guaranteed to pack up and run away from home. Forever.
Never say LOL. Actually, I was just made aware of this one recently after being royally chastised by one of my children for daring to say it in a comment. Not sure what is so offensive about saying LOL, but it clearly struck a nerve and I got this immediate reply: “Mom, NEVER say LOL again.” To which I promptly replied: “ NP! IDK what I was thinking. TTYL!”
It’s been a few weeks since I last heard from that child, but I’m pretty sure she’s been busy studying for mid-terms. LOL.
Last, but not least, never let on that you are stalking their page. Oh sure, you are going to be left with some questions from time to time or see some things that make you grumble. As long as you think they are making overall, good choices, resist the urge to correct every infraction you see. Of course, the exception to the rule is if you have reason to believe your child is headed down a dangerous path and an intervention is in order. Otherwise, pull back and give your child some wiggle room to grow up. And let’s all count our blessings that Facebook wasn’t around when we were teens!
Thanks to Vicki Courtney for letting us repost these.
We all do our part to promote Internet safety and awareness, but I don’t think anyone is doing more than these guys. At least not when measured in feet above sea level.
Mandy Homer and Gavin Lewis of Gloucestershire, UK, are planning on climbing the famed Mont Blanc in Switzerland in order to promote the Think U Know campaign that seeks to heighten awareness about online bullying and sexual predators on the Internet.
“We wanted to encourage younger people to get involved and visit the Think U Know website by wearing the t- shirts while we were doing so-called cool sports in cool locations. We want young people to know that making themselves aware of the dangers of the internet is a very cool thing to do.”
—Mandy Homer
Very cool indeed. The pair will be wearing shirts promoting the campaign on photo-ops and during the actual ascent.
According to a survey by Retrevo, one in five iPhone users watch porn on their iPhone.
Twice as many iPhone users view porn than their Blackberry owning counterparts. I’m not sure if this is more a statement about the mentality of the iPhone user vs the Blackberry user, or about the capabilities of the two devices.
Retrevo obviously was bent on uncovering the personality profile of an iPhone user in the survey, and the results are not pretty for those of us with the Apple Smartphone. Not only are iPhone users twice as likely to view porn, they are apparently extremely shallow as well. One in three iPhone users find out-of-date gadgets to be a turnoff in a partner, and the same number has broken off a relationship via text or email (perhaps for owning an out-of-date gadget).
Thanks to Retrevo for a little light humor on a Friday, but this survey also serves as an important reminder for parents thinking of buying their child an iPhone or iPod touch for the holidays that these devices are closer to computers than they are to what we think of as cellphones. If you don’t want your child exposed to everything that’s out there on the Internet, including pornography, consider downloading a safe-browsing filter like Safe Eyes Mobile.
According to a survey conducted by Harris Interactive, most Americans don’t think that viewing pornography is harmless or morally acceptable.
I found this rather interesting since pornography is one of if not the most readily available entertainment genres in this country and across the world. This is, of course, because it is easily available for anyone on the Internet, instantly, at no cost. Pornographic sites currently make up 12 percent of all sites on the web.
If you think about how vast and varied the modern cyberscape is, that is an astounding number. 2006 estimates put the number of pornographic sites on the net at 4.6 million, with 460 million pages of pornography. Considering that some estimates say 260 new porn sites are added to the Internet each day, the number of sites will be closer to five million by the end of this year.
The survey was conducted at the behest of Morality in Media, an organization which carries an obvious bias against anything pornographic, but when one looks at the actual questions of the survey, the claim that 76 percent of Americans don’t condone pornography has veracity. You can review the questions here.
The originators of the survey make a salient point when they say that the consumption of pornography does not necessarily indicate acceptance of it. In other words, just because people are looking at pornography does not mean that they approve of what they themselves are doing, which certainly lends credence to the theory that pornography is an addictive substance like some drugs. We do know that viewing pornography can trigger some of the same neurochemical reactions in the brain.
So, the bigger question from this study must be, if the majority of Americans don’t find online pornography acceptable, why do so many Americans let it into their home?
Safe Eyes is among the first parental control products to earn the “Compatible with Windows 7” Logo from Microsoft Corp. The certification ensures that the software is able to block access to objectionable websites for upgraded or new Windows 7 computers utilizing both 32- and 64-bit versions of Windows Internet Explorer. Most content filters will not filter the 64-bit edition of Microsoft’s browser even if they are successfully installed on a Windows 7 machine, leaving children vulnerable to pornography and other inappropriate content.
The Microsoft “Compatible with Windows 7” logo indicates that a product has passed Microsoft-designed tests for compatibility and reliability with its newest operating system.
64-bit computing is entering the mainstream, and many parents may be buying 64-bit computers without realizing it. Unfortunately, most parental control software is still only 32-bit compatible, so it doesn’t work with the 64-bit version of Internet Explorer. Parents need to choose filtering software that carries the ‘Compatible with Windows 7’ logo to be sure that their filter does the website blocking it’s supposed to do.
—InternetSafety.com CTO Aaron Kenny
If your filtering software does not have the Windows 7 logo and you want to be sure your kids are protected on all browsers, just visit internetsafety.com/switch to take advantage of a special offer.
Does this picture remind you of any recent customer service experiences?
Globalization has claimed many casualties, and customer service is often among the dead or dying in global business. That’s why we have focused on customer service here at InternetSafety.com, and as part of that, our home office in Acworth, which houses all of our customer service reps, celebrated Customer Service Appreciation Week in style.
To start, all of our reps enjoyed a free car wash at the hands of our research and development team, as pictured below:
In addition to that, our Customer Service Manager Gerald Stinson decided to let his reps blow off a little steam by literally taking one for the team, via pies in the face.
It was my way of allowing employees to relieve some stress. I’m in their face a lot of the time, so I let them get in mine for a day.
—Gerald
So why all the attention to customer service?
It was our way of recognizing the importance of customer service as well as the people who serve and support our customers day in and day out. The customer service rep is our main contact point with our customers. Without them, we’d lose the battle between customer appreciation and customer depreciation.
—Gerald
If you have a passion for helping people and are looking for a rewarding job in a fun environment, click here.
Even though the health community hasn’t officially decided if Internet addiction is actually addiction, CNN.com reports that teens with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Depression are more likely to become Internet addicts.
The study surveyed over 2,000 teens in Taiwan, and found that teens with depression, social phobias, and ADHD, were more likely to spend more hours playing online games or on social networks.
Michael Gilbert, a senior fellow at the Center for the Digital Future at the University of Southern California’s Annenberg School for Communication, was not surprised with the findings and said that kids with ADHD would naturally gravitate towards the fast pace of online gaming or social networking. He also added that it would be natural for a child suffering from depression to be more interested in taking on a new identity afforded by an avatar or online persona.
Though the jury is still out on whether or not the Internet poses a legitimate “addiction” threat, this report does serve as a reminder to parents of children with these conditions that they need to be extra-vigilant about their child’s online activities.
A recent survey found that workers in office jobs will spend at least two full working days shopping online this holiday season.
Shopping online on the company dime is nothing new, but employers can expect sharp increases in workers shopping while on the clock. Earlier surveys have found that workers with computer jobs spend on average 20 percent of their workday on non-work-related Internet activity, and it wouldn’t be surprising to hear that number has come up in recent years thanks to the exponential growth of social networking sites.
There is some debate about whether or not some net leisure time is actually helpful to a workforce, as a recent study out of the University of Melbourne has found that workers who engage in “Workplace Internet Leisure Browsing (WILB)” are actually more productive than those who don’t. However, the study caps WILB at 20 percent of the day, and notes that for certain personality types allowed WILB will have the opposite effect.
This demonstrates that employers need to regulate not just where their employees can go on the web, but how long they can spend on non-work-related activities. Being able to regulate employee time on the web, a feature of InternetSafety.com business filtering solutions, allows employers to allow the right amount of WILB without it hurting their bottom line.
The American Academy of Pediatrics, that nation’s leading authority on children’s health, recently suggested that all parents use tracking software (another word for filtering software like Safe Eyes) to monitor their children’s online activity.
The article, Guidelines for making children’s online experience safer, recognizes dangers such as online predators, cyberbullying, and identity theft, and outlines several strategies for meeting these cyber-dangers head on. Some of their recommendations are:
Surf the Web with your children, especially those under theage of 10.
Put the computer in a central area like the denor kitchen tomake it easier to monitor online activities. Computersshouldnever be placed in a room where a door can be closedor a parentexcluded.
Use tracking software to monitor whatWeb sites children arevisiting.
Visit sites that childrenand teenagers go to like MySpace,Club Penguin and Facebookand understand how they work.
Limit screen time to no morethan two hours a day, which includescomputer usage, televisionwatching and video game playing.The less children are online,the lower the risk of them comingacross dangerous material.
The last bullet is especially important as different forms of media take up more and more of our time, and not just for children but adults as well. As wonderful as the Internet is, too much of anything can be a bad thing. That’s why we designed Safe Eyes with time limits that can be set for each individual user.
Another thing this article does well is cement that filtering and good parenting work together. Too many parents see installing a filter as a substitute for good parenting, or good parenting as a substitute for a filter. The truth is neither work very well without the other. Using a filter to reinforce the agreements your family has made regarding Internet use is both good parenting and smart technology.
We all do our part to promote Internet safety and awareness, but I don’t think anyone is doing more than 
According to a survey conducted by Harris Interactive, most Americans don’t think that viewing pornography is harmless or morally acceptable.
Safe Eyes is among the first parental control products to earn the “Compatible with Windows 7” Logo from Microsoft Corp. The certification ensures that the software is able to block access to objectionable websites for upgraded or new Windows 7 computers utilizing both 32- and 64-bit versions of Windows Internet Explorer. Most content filters will not filter the 64-bit edition of Microsoft’s browser even if they are successfully installed on a Windows 7 machine, leaving children vulnerable to pornography and other inappropriate content.
Does this picture remind you of any recent customer service experiences?
A recent 
The American Academy of Pediatrics, that nation’s leading authority on children’s health, recently suggested that all parents use tracking software (another word for filtering software like Safe Eyes) to monitor their children’s online activity.
