Mom Thwarted by Facebook Privacy Settings
“Why are we all embracing conventional wisdom when the world acts just so unconventional?”
—Built to Spill
This line from Built to Spill increasingly applies to online safety. The Internet simply changes too often for “conventional wisdom” to keep up, and nothing changes more often on the Internet than Facebook’s privacy settings.
One mom recently discovered that the conventional wisdom of friending your kids on Facebook was no longer working. Though she was her daughter’s friend on Facebook, she wasn’t seeing any of her daughter’s status updates, and was instead finding out about them through mothers of her daughter’s friends. And the reason why is because Facebook is trying to give its users more control over their privacy settings.
The daughter had gone into privacy settings and made it so that her mother (or anyone else she chose) could not see her updates. These same settings can be applied to all of Facebook, including comments on posts, friend’s posts, and photos. Here’s how it works:
From privacy settings, she chose Personal Information and Posts, and probably selected posts by me, and chose customize:
She then likely selected to hide posts from her mom, or anyone else she might not want seeing them:
What this illustrates is that manual monitoring of web activity is increasingly becoming an exercise in frustration, where the parent is at a clear knowledge disadvantage to the kid. That’s why we do our best to make parents aware, but also provide Safe Eyes parental control software, which does the monitoring for them so that they can enjoy their kids instead of constantly playing cyber-detective.
Readers, were you aware of this capability in Facebook?
Filed under: Internet Safety Tips
Yes, I did know about these settings which is why I told my children that I must have their username and password at all times or they weren’t able to have a Facebook. They were also told NOT to befriend anyone or message anyone without first talking to me or they would lose their Facebook. They opted to befriend and message people without talking to me first so they lost their Facebook accounts until they are sixteen years of age.
I like your style
What’s the point of a social networking site if you’re not allowed to do anything on it?
My son blocked me off his facebook wall/updates. I messaged him and after couple exchanges I mentioned that I could simply block facebook via safeeyes and that would be that. He messaged me back and said “oh well, I gave it a good try…” then he opened it back up! So the choice is, he can know he is being monitored… or he can not participate at all – his choice!
16 is the worst age to let a disobedient child loose with Facebook or anything. sigh
I totally agree here. The reason God gave kids parents was so we would be there to protect them from their own ignorance. Kids don’t understand the dangers of sharing too much information with people or taking pictures of themselves that might produce unwanted attention from someone–they think they can control anything and everything. I also require all account passwords from my 15 year old. He knows that I can check up on him at any time. Yes, that may stiffle his “freedom” but at least I will have a child that is safe and hopefully growing into a more responsible adult. That’s my job and I take it VERY seriously!
I think that it is rediculous that we are blocked by facebook, myspace, twitter, ect. because then there is no point in having one at all. I think that our parents should trust us. I mean seriously, this is teenagers life (social websites) and you are just going to ban it from them?… That is just wrong. That is all I have to say about the situation so l8ter.
later** Sorry, I didnt know if anyone would understand what that meant.
Facebook wasn’t intended for teenagers or kids. It was first for college students and to have a Facebook account, you had to have a college email address, or one as an alumni (or staff). When it was opened up to the general public, there was an age limit that did not include teenagers under 18. There wasn’t anything to prevent a teenager from making an account, though.
So, being that Facebook isn’t FOR teenagers, they should be happy if their parents allow them to have an account with the conditions they set. It isn’t something you’re ENTITLED to.
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